Saturday, February 11, 2017

“Always remember…there is his side, there is her side and THEN THERE IS THE TRUTH.

Fallacy number 1-

“Always remember…there is his side, there is her side and THEN THERE IS THE TRUTH. The truth always lies somewhere in the middle”

How many times have we each repeated this? How many of us grew up believing this very strongly? Sorry to say, it is PATENTLY UNTRUE.
For example?

OK. Say you have lived in Arizona your entire live. You have never left the state for more than a short vacation. You went to school in Arizona, all the way through College. You have neither applied for college or attended any other college in any other school other than the one you graduated from in ARIZONA.

Say the abuser goes and tells many people (over a long period of time…often repeating this story several times to increase its believability), that you actually attended school in Georgia at one point. You had flunked out and did not like to talk about it because it really embarrasses you. Perhaps it was because you suffered some kind of mental breakdown. Became suicidal perhaps. Those being told this have NO REASON to question its validity. I mean “WHY would the abuser make up such an unimportant lie? What would be the purpose? None that you can see. The abuser carefully warns you NEVER to attempt to discuss this with you. The abuser warns “She is always right on the edge…and she might just be pushed over the edge. It would be CRUEL for you to bring up such a traumatic event that has no bearing on TODAY”.

Funny thing is, no one ever ASKS or CONSIDERS WHY the abuser would bring this up! If it is so traumatic and does not matter now…what was the purpose of discussing it at all?! This person is supposed to love you! Well, of COURSE! He/she is simply TRYING TO PROTECT YOU! That is the conclusion of most normal people.

Your friend casually mentions, one day, that the abuser said that you had once spent some time in Georgia. Something that you deny. Not angrily but with great conviction. You have NEVER even BEEN to Georgia! Your friend, seeing your reaction, becomes quiet, convinced that this event was very difficult for you and trying not to “push you over the edge”.

This is simply confirmation, to your friend that the abuser is correct. You are willing to lie about it….and that you are “on the edge”. Your friend may begin to decrease the time she spends with you. After all, if you cannot be honest with her about such a small thing…maybe you really do not consider her a friend.

You are now seen as a liar and a mental wreck who is apt to go “over the edge” any time.

Where does the “Truth in the middle” come into this scenario?


Wrestling with an abusive dinosaur- #1 FORWARD

Wrestling with an abusive dinosaur- how and why you can never truly WIN and it will never be OVER

Fallacies about lies and liars

There are all types of little “bits of wisdom” that we are taught regarding a lie. for most normal people among us our entire justice system is based on these beliefs. PERHAPS they ARE TRUE in most cases…or at least in SOME cases. For the unlucky among us…. a number that will continue to escalate…. These are fallacies that are used to abuse and torture us. They are used to distance our families, our children, turn these people against us and gain favor in the court. As a JOYFUL side-affect for the abuser, they are the weapon used to DESTROY OUR LIVES. It is difficult to understand this concept. It is impossible for most people to understand it until it happens to them. In the meantime, the victim faces abuse from every direction, watches their whole life crumble, and develops CPSD because it SUDDENLY becomes clear that the “good guy” does not win. The liar does not get caught. Justice does not prevail and this is accomplished (in great part) by the mass destruction of our very character. Imagine what it would be like to have your OWN FAMILY (a close family) turn on you and not believe a single thing you say. Imagine knowing that your children have been convinced that you are a liar, unstable, even INSANE/MENTALLY ILL. Imagine your children being manipulated to the point that they are willing to completely ignore what they have seen WITH THEIR OWN EYES….and imagine living in this emotional hell while having the responsibility of COMPLETE financial support (court sanctioned) of your children, the ones who think you are insane. You may work 2 or 3 jobs to barely make ends meet and then the abuser has plenty of money to supply them with the things you cannot. 

The children see that abuser of the good guy and are RAPIDLY AND DEFTLY convinced that you are a “workaholic” who works several jobs to “ESCAPE” your children because you never carded about them….and “because your other parent just LOVES to work. Gets off on it! I have been telling you, all along, that she was a crappy Mother. She makes all that money and spends it all on herself. What did SHE get you for Christmas?!!”

It is a TORTURE that is hard to describe.

I was watching an ID case tonight, where a woman was convinced, under direction of one of these people, to commit murder. Admittedly, that is extreme and I do not think I would ever have been pushed THAT FAR. Likely because the abuser would not likely be able to do commit a murder. OH NOT BECAUSE he finds it WRONG or because he feels any pity. Simply put, the abuser I dealt with is TERRIFIED of going to jail, because he FEARS OTHER MEN. He fears them to the point of hiding behind his mate, of hiding behind his own children. After being married for nearly 20 years, I can say, very CONFIDENTLY, that if he was somehow 100% certain he would NEVER be caught, I would not be here to write these truths.

So I never committed murder due to his brainwashing. All the same, I DID do things that I would NEVER have done before. I plan to reveal these things so that the whole story is known. I am not an angel. None of us are.

So, I hope you will read this with an open mind if you have been abusing a victim at the behest of the abuser. (This is called being a “Flying Monkey”). Perhaps you do not even realize you are doing it. If you have been the victim of this, you will recognize most of it immediately.

My divorce is over. Yet, knowing what I now know, I know the danger of exposing the identities of these people. I KNOW that my children will be only FURTHER convinced of my insanity. I know that would accuse me of being “unable to move on”. Chastise me for “not being able to forgive”. SHAME me for being unwilling to simply lie down and NOT WARN others (and there will be others) who are going to suffer this way. So, I inform you now that I am writing this under a pseudonym. All names have been changed as well as identifying details. It does not matter who the abuser is, or who I am. I no longer even have a thought of “winning” or “coming out on top”. Indeed, the one success I HAVE HAD is being willing to walk away from EVERYONE…including family and children…to PERHAPS have a few years of peace before I die. Not very lofty goals I guess. It becomes very important to those who experience this.

I HAVE NO solutions…I only offer understanding that the victim is NOT insane ALL THE TIME. The “really nice, church going, caring narcissist….the one who would actually be GLAD if the victim was to die (although you have been married for nearly 20 years and have children) but would NO DOUBT show up at the victims funeral in tears and full of grief… the one who, with the help of many others (many unwittingly), has you about 80% convinced that you ARE INSANE…because what others see is merely a mask. One that is VERY EFFECTIVE…and one the abuser (male or female) will rip off suddenly once you are of no further use to them.

If you are a victim sit back and understand you are not alone. If you belief you know someone who is “insane” because the abuser convinced you it was true. Think carefully and keep an open mind. NO ONE IS SAFE. Once you are around this master of disguise for an extended times, you WILL begin to see the lies and experience the evil…in short bursts. The abuser will, of course, easily convince you that you have blown everything “out of proportion”. If they are unable to do this, they will proceed to more manipulation which will begin to warp your perception of the world around you. Make you question your reality and your sanity. Failing this they may even admit that they DID whatever it is they did. But “It is still YOUR FAULT” somehow.

Keep in mind, if they become aware that you are on to them, they will resort to threatening to leave and take everything, they will threaten to make your children hate you. You will know (by this time) that the abuser WILL DO ANYTHING TO DESTROY you. No moral limits, no guilt, no shame and the ability to actually begin to BELIEVE their own lies. When you are of no further use of the abuser, and you can no longer be “controlled”. When the mask can no longer cover the evil that you, often you alone, has seen. You WILL BECOME THE ENEMY TO BE DESTROYED. You will discover that the framework is already laid. 

The LIES do not START NOW. They started on DAY ONE of your relationship and you can NEVER recover from what others believe about you

Don’t ever say I did not warn you!