tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post1276687365884703067..comments2023-11-16T00:42:52.366-08:00Comments on Soulmates In Hell: NARCISSISTS AS THEY REALLY ARE...30 UGLY THINGS A NARCISSIST DOESAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12078046044712522712noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-18366709593674610382023-09-09T12:40:17.366-07:002023-09-09T12:40:17.366-07:00The national statistic is 1 in 25 is a narc. Narc...The national statistic is 1 in 25 is a narc. Narcissism is a character disorder, NOT a mental illness. Character disorders are, however, on a spectrum, much like other mental health conditions. The character disorder spectrum starts with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, then progresses through sociopaths all the way to psychopaths. Unlike mental conditions, which are often caused by imbalances in brain chemistry, and, therefore, can often be treated with medication, character disorders are neuronally hard-wired into the brain. There is NO TREATMENT and NO CURE. THAT is why you are admonished to go NO CONTACT. These are monsters that will VERY DELIBERATELY completely destroy you just for fun. There is a reason why it is referred to as "silent murder."BarbiGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11269356964819937920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-60182035308500355222022-03-20T14:09:28.738-07:002022-03-20T14:09:28.738-07:00wow you really nailed it!wow you really nailed it!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05649793272393000685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-25976965971524960862021-12-15T12:55:11.813-08:002021-12-15T12:55:11.813-08:00My ex husband has all these traits. I was married ...My ex husband has all these traits. I was married to him for 22years and had 6 children with him, thinking they would give me the love I didn't get off him.. but when they became teenagers they by learnt behaviour treated me the same as him .... no respect and swearing at me .. when the 5th started doing this it broke me and I had to leave with-£5000 after 22yrs I had to rent a two up two down and start from the beginning while head the home he bought the children cigarettes and drinks and told the boys "women were only good for one thing" they were brainwashed by him .... I have spent the last 20yrs trying to have a normal relationship with my children, I have spent a lot of days not getting out of bed and crying, but as the years have gone by I have put myself into working all the hours hiding from being hurtAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07077035192468329734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-1922343092214718892021-12-05T12:40:14.743-08:002021-12-05T12:40:14.743-08:00GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THE OLDER THEY ARE, T...GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THE OLDER THEY ARE, THE WORSE THEY GET. ESCAPE AS SOON AS YOU CAN. THERE IS AND WILL NEVER BE A CURE FOR A NARSISIST. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03403379488327088376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-14625247474662303792021-11-20T10:26:24.384-08:002021-11-20T10:26:24.384-08:00If he hurts you (and I understand that he does and...If he hurts you (and I understand that he does and has), STOP all communications with him. BLOCK him and any friends who are friends with him as he is shadowing you through them. No casual questions - no trying to be friends - nothing. He feeds off of you as he needs someone to destroy at will. No sentimental feelings as they werent real with him. He is incapable of that with anyone. Stop or just continue to expect more of the same. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13649032101802872496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-28732336243548440582021-10-16T11:28:46.097-07:002021-10-16T11:28:46.097-07:00Some of what you describe I would consider narciss...Some of what you describe I would consider narcissist behavior. Im not a Dr. So to say yes forsure he is I cant. But anyone who does those things is definitely a toxic person and no one not you or anyone deserves to be treated like that. Dont you think if you were that annoying to him he would just block you. That tells me he enjoys hurting you and he leave the door open hoping you will walk back through it so he can have someone to berate. Leave this person alone and find someone who will treat you with respect like you deserve.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10126988637098190876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-91248748520904252112021-10-16T11:04:04.961-07:002021-10-16T11:04:04.961-07:00Exactly the purpose of this blog is to bring aware...Exactly the purpose of this blog is to bring awareness of a problem that has existed forever but never talked about. Cant we all just put the political correctness aside and talk about the true subject. I dont think some of the people commenting even realized they are using pronouns such as she or he they are just telling their story from their prospective rather they were abused by a women or man. I believe we can all be intelligent enough to know that both women and men can be a narcissist and that both men and women can be victims. What's sad is here we are most of us victims ourselves and we all know how hard it is to come forward and tell our story especially the ones who are still enduring the abuse so when they do muster up enough courage to participate (which is the first step) we get on here and attack them for not using the correct grammer in their comments boy we are showing some good support here people. Come on lets grow up and stoo that. We are no better than abusers when we do that. We could truely help someone here but if their only experience here is to get attacked they wont reach out because they get enough of that at home. If someone makes a comment and refers to his or her abuser as a he or a she lets just assume thats because the gender of this particular persons abuser is just that and lets not read any further into than that<br /> Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10126988637098190876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-16901424564474281892021-10-16T10:09:13.068-07:002021-10-16T10:09:13.068-07:00Unknown, you are so very right. I wasted 30 years ...Unknown, you are so very right. I wasted 30 years thinking he could change. What I saw was very different from what my kids and everyone else saw. I didnt even realize what narcissism was and since he wasnt physically violent I didnt consider myself as being a victim of domestic violence. Well it is very much so domestic abuse. Who knows really how many have gave up and done the unthinkable. The last comment is spot on when you finally see it in someone dont waste anymore time in your life trying to change them a narc will never change and if they are a covert Marc like mine was they are the worst. Start make your escape plans even if it $10 or $20 here and there be very quite about it do not tell anyone. You need to get yourself out as soon as possible. I didnt do it the smart way I just up and outted him and went to stay with a friend well that was my biggest mistake because his manipulation kicked in and long story short he managed to take away my job, my phone, my car, no money, homeless, and with his lies turned what family I had left against me and most of my friends. If it wasnt for a very of my friends who seen him for who he was I probably myself would have done the unthinkable. Now a year later the judge in our divorce was disgusted at what my situation had become and made him pay for his actions and now im about to move in my new apt. I have a decent job, and my divorce is almost final. Alot of my relationships with family and friends are permanently damaged and it still hurts. But I did get to find out who was true in my life and to those people I will forever be in their debt and true to them. Had I done things a little differently maybe I wouldnt have had the struggles I did but im free now and I can breathe for the first time in 30 years I can be me and i used to care about what people thought of me and ive had to come to terms with the fact there are going to be people who still believe the lies they were told and for the first time in my life I truely dont give a rats ass what thise people think because he no longer has that control over me. For young people out there going through this there is help out there reach out. The center for the prevention of abuse was my lifesavor amd the game changer for me. Narcissist abuse is absolutely domestic abuse and there is all kinds of help out there for it. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10126988637098190876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-5447860825474297102021-06-17T05:41:46.552-07:002021-06-17T05:41:46.552-07:00I think it's more common in men because we'...I think it's more common in men because we're commonly raised with abandonment and self love issues. Were raised to put up and shut up, and big boys don't cry, the world isn't fair so I don't have to be, sort of attitude. I can honestly say I'm guilty of alot of these things, subconsciously, I watch myself alot to figure myself out and I know when my ego is threatened or in disrespected in some way, my brains defense mechanism falls into some pretty complex/manipulative actions/conversations. But know that we are big children, trapped in men's bodies who haven't healed from traumas. There is only one example of a narcissist being healed in the Bible. Nebachudnezzer, god humbles him by making him eat grass with the animals and not speaking for 7yrs. I am already vegan, next step is a speech fast? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11002029135651142380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-794274817560281412021-04-30T08:30:01.586-07:002021-04-30T08:30:01.586-07:00Yes, but it is assumed that we are intelligent eno...Yes, but it is assumed that we are intelligent enough to realise that it refers to all genders. It's very common to write in this way. Unfortunately for me almost all reflects what I'm dealing with. Once your eyes are open to their tactics there's no going back. My trust and kindness was seen seen as weakness. I stayed too quiet for decades. Now I'm seen as a bitch for standing my ground. That's OK, I can live with that. I'm a survivor. When your back's up against the wall,you have only two choices. I chose me after four decades of abuse, in one form or other. Anyone out there going through this, I suggest start making plans to escape (it can take years). Do everything quietly and tell no one.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16544376646324836425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-15819132058413908472020-04-22T11:51:54.936-07:002020-04-22T11:51:54.936-07:00This is my soon to be ex wifeThis is my soon to be ex wifeMIST3RVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03124596203423904150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-31910206718137172172020-04-12T01:04:10.273-07:002020-04-12T01:04:10.273-07:00I've been dealing with a female narcissist mix...I've been dealing with a female narcissist mixed with being a sociopath that is a master at gaslighting and toss in what I determined to be a Jezebel spirit. We are separated after 23 years together and raised 3 kids, whom the last one is graduating HS this year. I moved to another state but I find myself still going back to the house I own to help in times of emergencies or now a pandemic. I try to distance myself as much as possible but end up getting lured in through niceness, familiarity and sex. It all comes to sudden stop a couple of days into the visit or once whatever she wants done then I'm guilted into everything the child needs. It's difficult to find literature on female narcs and like this article you can plug in the "she" part but it really doesn't work that easy because there are differences on the way men and women think and all around general make up. Woman typically dont physically bully you. Woman are emotional creatures by makeup and are smarter on using the knowledge of emotions to manipulate and guilt. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14539542846685463297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-36348271200366507742020-03-11T15:21:49.138-07:002020-03-11T15:21:49.138-07:00This is him, every word of it....there's no ev...This is him, every word of it....there's no ever having an opinion, just get to be bull dozed over and his opinion crammed down your throat at every interaction...it's demeaning.hes always right ..,I am told constantly that I am the reason everything is failing, I am a bad mom, I am a bad house keeper..can't do the dishes right, can't do the laundry right..he even drug me out of the bedroom to inform my kids that I was a scum bag<br />He controls all the money in the house, and degrades me when I make dinner , or clean the house up..he will walk by me and call me names, then be a prince to my kids, when I break after not being able to handle it ..he shows the kids how crazy i am..he frequently threatens to take the kids away and kick me out..because i am a acum bag....he convinced me for years that i desrved this treatmeht ..i am depressed, i am living in this nightmare with no way or help out..all of ,y friends abd fsmily think hes the greatest guy in the world..no one believes me, i am alone...lost ...in hell..a.jenmcmullenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365788384789309937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-21721293737037645412020-02-01T14:57:59.063-08:002020-02-01T14:57:59.063-08:00Same, I agree Same, I agree Helpmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06412092596879562507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-76717359239791361922019-05-24T23:48:16.864-07:002019-05-24T23:48:16.864-07:00It is impossible to fix and at best can be managed...It is impossible to fix and at best can be managed to some degree. Sorry you have this to live with as the stress is huge. So helpless feeling to not be able to fix it.Lindarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10544992185820797397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-24005564774254595102019-05-24T23:42:34.994-07:002019-05-24T23:42:34.994-07:00I have a nacisstic mother and had a narcissistic h...I have a nacisstic mother and had a narcissistic husband. Between the two of them I was so exhausted. Eventually my husband passed waway from prostate cancer. Then the PTSD kicked in. I would dreams he was still alive and wake up terrified. I had no idea how deep the 40 years of dealing with his emotional abuse had affected me. My mom I had to disconnect from since every time I was around her, I would break out in shingles. Sad thing is I didn't learn about narcissistic personality disorder until I was 60 years old. I was trying to raise my 2 sons, be a good teacher and keep peace in my family. But ultimately it came at my expense health wise. I still cannot understand how a person can be so self absorbed and so mean to another person, but they are. Lindarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10544992185820797397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-72329031784426540922019-04-27T19:08:25.720-07:002019-04-27T19:08:25.720-07:00
I really hope you don’t chose to end your life. Y...<br />I really hope you don’t chose to end your life. You are not the problem. She is!!! I hope you are able to find someone to help you through this. Don’t give her the chance to play the “poor me” victim role if you end your life. Your life is worth it. Keep fighting!!!Greig Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12412844146902205940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-78902393327624865232019-04-27T19:07:16.095-07:002019-04-27T19:07:16.095-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Greig Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12412844146902205940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-30515775739398913332019-04-19T05:31:41.592-07:002019-04-19T05:31:41.592-07:00 My ex narcissist tried to kill me twice. Yes I we... My ex narcissist tried to kill me twice. Yes I went back to him, like most victims too. The first time he poisoned me and I was hospitalized for several days. That was May 2017. <br /><br />In September 2017 while on our way home from dinner he managed to open the door and shove me out of his truck at 55 miles an hour. I fractured my skull in two places and had to have emergency brain surgery. <br /><br /><br /> I’m a single mom of 13-year-old twin boys and prior to the accident I Had quit my job like you said and was going to help him run his office. Needless to say I’m still waiting on disability, even though my neurologist insists that I cannot return to work.<br /><br />It’s a process has been exhausting and I find myself constantly on edge. It amazes me that this man is even walking free. Also, turns out he was married. <br /><br />The good news is that his wife now has the courage to face him in court as well. Apparently he tried to drown her. Hopefully between the two of us we can put them in prison where he belongs.Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11216067123983080087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-23585593583596529942019-04-19T05:26:07.991-07:002019-04-19T05:26:07.991-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11216067123983080087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-87979322604580914412019-03-19T05:38:14.703-07:002019-03-19T05:38:14.703-07:00I have been living this for years with my daughter...I have been living this for years with my daughter. Now 30 with 2 children, this behavior started at age 8. No amount of counseling helped. Now its manifested itself into an almost schizophrenic disorder. I can't count the amount of "honeymoon phases" I've gone thru. The AnXious Artisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09322871249863428606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-58790273764094497812019-03-06T18:06:47.553-08:002019-03-06T18:06:47.553-08:00This is amazingly accurate. I was IN a relationshi...This is amazingly accurate. I was IN a relationship with a man I “accidentally” called a narcissist, or rather had narcissist tendencies. His interest in me was fading and I never knew how he felt about “us.” He made me feel special in a way no other man had. Ironically he has now made me feel like a horrible useless person he has zero respect for. When I attempted to explain my poor choice of words to explain his sudden changes, he asked to take a break from me. Said something was missing in our relationship but never told me what he needed. I took the breakup hard as it was done over the phone 5 days before Christmas. He was very non-chalant about it which hurt me further. We stopped talking about a month after it ended. Then out of the blue I received a text from him that led to a lot of flirtation and nostalgic feelings. He could text whenever but when I did I was perceived as annoying, needy, overly sensitive, irratic and wrong constantly. I was going through a very difficult time because I had to testify in court against a stranger who broke in my home and sexually assaulted me. My ex knew this but rather then simply let me go through my emotions became irate when I would text him long texts. I was trying to distract myself from the stress I was under and never insulted him just vented. He found this extremely annoying and never once took into consideration that I had to relive a trauma and my emotions were all over the place. After sentencing I sent him a message explaining what the judge said. He responded with a long paragraph about how we should limit our interactions out of respect for people we may end up dating, then the last sentence was glad sentencing went well. WTF?? I was then blocked. He would then reach out to me on words with friends and open the lines of communication again. I will spare all the details because there are too many. But over a year after the relationship ended he brought up the narcissist comment again!! This impacted him so much that he could not accept any explanation for what I was sensing. He has since said I was boring, lacked interests, communication skills, continually messed things up and then said I had low self esteem. Geez, after all of that feedback from a man who I spent 9 months with every weekend who wouldn’t?? He has no regards for my feelings ever and despite disrespecting me will always blame me somehow. He is NEVER at fault, EVER. Nor once apologized for hurting me despite me over apologizing to a fault for calling him a narcissist. Then he propositioned me for sex, and I stupidly agreed. He refused to kiss me and when I later questioned it, he said he just didn’t do that. Without asking further, he elaborated saying “kissing is special and I’m saving that for someone that’s special and means something.” I was shocked those words came out of the same man I spent an awful amount of time with and thought it was so lucky to meet a man like that. After finding someone else, I’m sure, he would say things to trigger me. I refrained from overreacting because that was another fault. Finally after being home sick with the flu I texted asking his opinion of some clothes. He called me up and screamed at me stating he didn’t care if we had history I no longer exist to him and don’t ever expect to hear from him again. I am just beginning to realize the fairytale beginning was all a lie and it’s heartbreaking. I now see everything revolved and was based on one thing, HIS NEEDS! PERIOD. He has manipulated me countless times and sadly I don’t even know who he is anymore. Do you think I am to blame or am I the victim of narcissist abuse? Narcvic13https://www.blogger.com/profile/07576758176123679504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-23351551260793114152019-02-03T06:50:53.917-08:002019-02-03T06:50:53.917-08:00Good article, comments by a bunch of nit picking n...Good article, comments by a bunch of nit picking ninnies! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17006712658402923758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-27111334279533661252019-01-27T00:15:03.582-08:002019-01-27T00:15:03.582-08:00The author is perfectly fine ! Does not matter if ...The author is perfectly fine ! Does not matter if man or women...... you are all nit picking! .... she or he is well versed with this personality disorder! What she or he is telling is to help ...not judge if male or female! <br />Stop all the nit picking and just listen to her!!!!! You may be able to just hear what you need to hear!!!! You haters are really congratulating her! You put her down and you don't even know her ! ........it's your choice to put her down! You chose to put her down ! You could have chose to not say what you want . But you chose to try to knock her ! Wow that says a lot about your jealousy toward her ! If you were educated about yourself and acknowledge you have an issuer with yourself you would not have said those things of degrading... you would have had silence or getting what she was telling! Why insult her for her words of help for those who need some one to understand the death defying, debilitating problems people go through? People who put someone down for educating the hurt are people who are jealous! That means you adore her and wish you were like her......therefore... you congratulate her as I feel about her ! You use words of hate and put downs..... emotionally healthy people build her up for the good she is doing! It does not matter if she is man or women or say about men . She is good hearted perfectly made and she can not be replaced ever! Either can you! You are irreplaceable also.... no one can replace anyone ! This is so good of her and powerful insite! She has done or said nothing to say anything toward men or women .....just facts....... men are one step away from being wild animals......it is true and any man will who is respectful of women always agree with that! A very wise educated man said this to me! He has counciled many great men! If a man is honest with himself.....he agrees. That is a very good man who is humble and honest with himself .... a rare hard to find man is a treasure! The worst women is still better then the best man! I had a hard time wrapping my brain around that one for years but ..... the more educated I got .... the light went on and all the puzzle pieces fit that sentence ! Now I know the truth! Well good night everyone. This is a hard world for women. No man will ever understand the depth of a women and all her gloriousness! She is the air you need to breath but some men want or choose to hate them for their jealousy of women! That's why men are dragg .... that why men are gay..... they want the glorious of the essence of a women! The funny thing is..... on YouTube.... you can find videos of gays teaching other gays how to act like a women...the hands need to do this....the hips need to do this ....the words and expressions need to do this to act like a women!!! Wow that got my attention!! If they really felt like a women.....why do men have to go ACTING LESSONS LIKE A WOMEN !! It would come naturallly silly men they just told on themselves! We women just are what we are naturally that way! Nothing stops us from being naturally feminine! Men have to learn how to ACT!Heyimjustagirlhere!https://www.blogger.com/profile/14359815251359055575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-645808895514651354.post-77431241735152837822018-10-01T04:23:59.818-07:002018-10-01T04:23:59.818-07:00Ending my life next year...after 8+ years living w...Ending my life next year...after 8+ years living with and taking care of my mom, severely cruel narcissist, and begging for help (I'm stuck under her thumb with no way to get away from her) to no avail....I'm done! There's so much I could say here, but frankly, I'm tired of being dismissed and ignored and told I'm too sensitive or that I'm exaggerating blah blah blah blah.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09580391400901168745noreply@blogger.com