Guilty Confessions of a Bad Housekeeper...

Guilty Confessions of a Bad Housekeeper...

I cannot tell you how many times I WISHED I was one of those people who could have "drop in" company without dying of embarrassment. Sadly, although I did occasionally wish for this, it was NOT to be.

In my job I go into many houses...many that make me feel shame by how spotless they are...and many that make me feel better and think "Well, at LEAST my house isn't THIS bad!" If I had to rate it on a scale of 1 to 20, with 1 being the worst kept house I had ever seen and 20 being the best kept house I had ever seen, I would rate my house as about a 10. 

It just always seems to me that there are so many more important things to do!

I come by this honestly. I lived with a Mother who lamented about her housekeeping skills...and felt guilt...and felt bad. Out of the brood she produced, I had two sisters whose houses are immaculate and three others whose house keeping fell between theirs and mine. I hold the DISTINCTION of keeping the messiest house in our family! 

I do not count the male children in this as I imagine that much depends upon their wives.

Now you would THINK that I might just DO SOMETHING about that and I HAVE tried. 

I do not want to give the wrong impression here. My house is not FILTHY (by my standards). When I cook I am very clean. There is not food on the floor or trash piling up in the corners. I am not a "hoarder" but my house was, and is, "cluttered", "messy", "unkempt in appearance". My tubs are not spotless and I have been known to have some dreaded "mold and mildew" that could use some attention. There are spots on the bathroom mirrors and, yes, occasionally, dirty dishes left over night in the sink. Mostly it is the things that are "not where they belong". Counters, shelves, drawers and cabinets...not to mention the kitchen table...cluttered with "stuff". Just like my Mother...

I tell myself, sometimes, that the reason is BECAUSE.

Because I work two jobs and have for 20 years...

Because I have been raising children for 30 years...

Because I always have "pets"...

In TRUTH, it is BECAUSE I just can't seem to find it in myself to make it a priority.

Neither could my Mother. Not in her entire 86 year life.

For MUCH of her life she was a single Mother, working to support a household and children as well as grandchildren. She was a wonderful cook and always made great meals, she was a hard worker, her children were cared for and loved, she took time out to help others, she was loved by nearly everyone who met her and she was ALWAYS on the look out for how something might be of use in "the future". She collected jars, boxes and bags and they piled up. She was not a "hoarder" either but there WERE things that just seemed to pile up because she "might need them later".

I think it is a matter of being a "bigger picture" kind of person. When you do NOT live alone, keeping an immaculate house (unless you are a full time house keeper with no OUTSIDE employment) requires that EVERYONE who lives there be immaculate as well. In most cases this requires a great deal of reminding, nagging or even yelling. Constant correction...constant vigilance. 

I once lived with a man who did not appreciate my lack of housekeeping....BUT he was also not willing to do his part to keep it the way he thought it "should be". Even when he was working only a few hours a week, and I was working 60+, it was MY JOB to "keep the house". He would occasionally declare a "house cleaning day" which meant he would mop the floors, clear the counters by stuffing everything in any closed space he could find and make the children do everything else and I would hear how he had "helped ME".  

THEN no one could find anything, including HIM, which meant that I spent MORE TIME trying to locate items and hearing the ranting screams of "why does everyone always move my stuff".

So now, he is gone and I live in peace in my messy house with my happy children. They have what they need because I work two jobs to get them what they need. They have the best food, their clothes are clean and unwrinkled. They go to therapy appointments that are only possible because of the work I do,  They are good students who are headed to college...and I am afraid that they have inherited the "messy gene"

Perhaps I could try to INSIST they everyone put things where they belong, and take no glasses into their rooms. I could rant and scream. I could declare "cleaning days" where things are done, but not the way I think they should be. I could work less and take those hours to spiff up my house...tell the kids they can't go to therapy because I can't afford it. 

I guess I COULD have a clean house....but as I said, I have such a hard time making it a priority.

I guess it is in my genes....

Just one more thing I will likely feel guilty about for the rest of my life.

Still...while I often hear many things about my Mother and the way she impacted the lives of others...how she was loved and how accepting she was...

I have never once heard anyone remember her because she had a cluttered, messy house.

Guilt can be a strange thing...guess I will just have to live with it!