#1 FORWARD:
Fallacies
about lies and liars
There are all types of little “bits of wisdom” that we are
taught regarding a lie. for most normal people among us our entire justice
system is based on these beliefs. PERHAPS they ARE TRUE in most cases…or at
least in SOME cases. For the unlucky among us…. a number that will continue to
escalate…. These are fallacies that are used to abuse and torture us. They are
used to distance our families, our children, turn these people against us and
gain favor in the court. As a JOYFUL side-affect for the abuser, they are the
weapon used to DESTROY OUR LIVES. It is difficult to understand this concept.
It is impossible for most people to understand it until it happens to them. In
the meantime, the victim faces abuse from every direction, watches their whole
life crumble, and develops CPSD because it SUDDENLY becomes clear that the “good
guy” does not win. The liar does not get caught. Justice does not prevail and
this is accomplished (in great part) by the mass destruction of our very
character. Imagine what it would be like to have your OWN FAMILY (a close
family) turn on you and not believe a single thing you say. Imagine knowing
that your children have been convinced that you are a liar, unstable, even
INSANE/MENTALLY ILL. Imagine your children being manipulated to the point that
they are willing to completely ignore what they have seen WITH THEIR OWN EYES….and
imagine living in this emotional hell while having the responsibility of
COMPLETE financial support (court sanctioned) of your children, the ones who
think you are insane. You may work 2 or 3 jobs to barely make ends meet and
then the abuser has plenty of money to supply them with the things you cannot.
It is a TORTURE that is hard to describe.
I was watching an ID case tonight, where a woman was
convinced, under direction of one of these people, to commit murder.
Admittedly, that is extreme and I do not think I would ever have been pushed
THAT FAR. Likely because the abuser would not likely be able to do commit a
murder. OH NOT BECAUSE he finds it WRONG or because he feels any pity. Simply
put, the abuser I dealt with is TERRIFIED of going to jail, because he FEARS
OTHER MEN. He fears them to the point of hiding behind his mate, of hiding
behind his own children. After being married for nearly 20 years, I can say,
very CONFIDENTLY, that if he was somehow 100% certain he would NEVER be caught,
I would not be here to write these truths.
So I never committed murder due to his brainwashing. All the
same, I DID do things that I would NEVER have done before. I plan to reveal
these things so that the whole story is known. I am not an angel. None of us
are.
So, I hope you will read this with an open mind if you have
been abusing a victim at the behest of the abuser. (This is called being a “Flying
Monkey”). Perhaps you do not even realize you are doing it. If you have been
the victim of this, you will recognize most of it immediately.
My divorce is over. Yet, knowing what I now know, I know the
danger of exposing the identities of these people. I KNOW that my children will
be only FURTHER convinced of my insanity. I know that would accuse me of being “unable
to move on”. Chastise me for “not being able to forgive”. SHAME me for being
unwilling to simply lie down and NOT WARN others (and there will be others) who
are going to suffer this way. So, I inform you now that I am writing this under
a pseudonym. All names have been changed as well as identifying details. It
does not matter who the abuser is, or who I am. I no longer even have a thought
of “winning” or “coming out on top”. Indeed, the one success I HAVE HAD is
being willing to walk away from EVERYONE…including family and children…to
PERHAPS have a few years of peace before I die. Not very lofty goals I guess.
It becomes very important to those who experience this.
I HAVE NO solutions…I only offer understanding that the
victim is NOT insane ALL THE TIME. The “really nice, church going, caring
narcissist….the one who would actually be GLAD if the victim was to die
(although you have been married for nearly 20 years and have children) but
would NO DOUBT show up at the victims funeral in tears and full of grief… the
one who, with the help of many others (many unwittingly), has you about 80%
convinced that you ARE INSANE…because what others see is merely a mask. One
that is VERY EFFECTIVE…and one the abuser (male or female) will rip off
suddenly once you are of no further use to them.
If you are a victim sit back and understand you are not
alone. If you belief you know someone who is “insane” because the abuser
convinced you it was true. Think carefully and keep an open mind. NO ONE IS
SAFE. Once you are around this master of disguise for an extended times, you
WILL begin to see the lies and experience the evil…in short bursts. The abuser
will, of course, easily convince you that you have blown everything “out of
proportion”. If they are unable to do this, they will proceed to more
manipulation which will begin to warp your perception of the world around you.
Make you question your reality and your sanity. Failing this they may even
admit that they DID whatever it is they did. But “It is still YOUR FAULT”
somehow.
Keep in mind, if they become aware that you are on to them,
they will resort to threatening to leave and take everything, they will
threaten to make your children hate you. You will know (by this time) that the
abuser WILL DO ANYTHING TO DESTROY you. No moral limits, no guilt, no shame and
the ability to actually begin to BELIEVE their own lies. When you are of no
further use of the abuser, and you can no longer be “controlled”. When the mask
can no longer cover the evil that you, often you alone, has seen. You WILL
BECOME THE ENEMY TO BE DESTROYED. You will discover that the framework is already laid.
The LIES do not START NOW. They started on DAY ONE of your relationship and you can NEVER recover from what others believe about you
Don’t ever say I did not warn you!
I have only spent two years with this "person". I would have never guessed that only a year later I would be at the mercy of someone who loved me so much they hated me for it. I am in love, madly deeply with all my heart. Yet something has been taken from me that I can never have again. It was a part of what made me a good person with an unlimited supply of HOPE. I don't know who I am now. Any suggestions????
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. Can you get away? Love shouldn't hurt. You are still YOU. But I know the feeling you are talking about all too well. It won't get better. You won't get better. Not until you set yourself free. Check out the website Out Of The Fog, everyone there is amazing and it's a supportive website no matter whether you leave your relationship or stay but you can also just read what others have been through on there, you'll see yourself in many stories. (((Hugs)))
DeleteTry LoveFraud. Your abuser sounds like a P. There are others there who've had their children turned against them.
ReplyDeleteAll I ever heard for 2 years were negative things I wasn't capable of. I was often accused of living and cheating. I had to get away. It's made me a much stronger person
ReplyDeleteIt was very difficult cuz I believed I loved him. My family sees how different I am being away from him.He has moved on with someone who's about 20 years younger than himself.I still have bad days, but my good days outweigh them. I'm blessed to have the strength I needed to get away
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