Why pick now to discard?

It is nothing SHORT of fascinating the way that a skilled narcissist can blend the truth with lies! I know NO ONE ELSE who could do this so EASILY and with such PROFICIENCY! 

Just one grain of truth can render an otherwise ABSOLUTE LIE into a very useful tool for the Narcissist. Utilizing twisting, alteration, selective understanding, exaggeration, etc... a skilled predator can EASILY have you questioning whether you are truly insane!

My marriage lasted 18 years.... and the entire time (outside of MAYBE year one)...the abuser complained about our sex life. 

I was told, daily, that I was abnormal, frigid and damaged. 

HEY! Even I would admit that I was NOT a highly sexed individual...and add to THAT the constant stress, hyper-vigilance and anxiety that living with a narcissist evokes, the eggshells and broken glass I walked on constantly and my NEED to ACTIVELY IGNORE all those RED FLAGS waving around and adjust my "BLINDERS" constantly by finding a reason to EXCUSE his cruel and selfish actions...

What you GET is a person who is too CONSUMED in mind and body to be interested in sex with the man she, DAILY, watches torment her children and herself.

ADMITTED!

After 18 years...ONE DAY...he "Just could not take it anymore!"

Depending on who he was talking to...the "things he could no longer take" changed. 

Our sex life was always top of that list!

Since I HAD NOT been able to DENY that our sex life WAS unsatisfactory....this was not truly a lie...WAS it?

Of COURSE...he omitted any reason why this may have happened.
He denied having anything to do with the demise of our intimate life.
He selectively forgot to mention that he had been complaining about it for 17 years and insinuated that it was an ACUTE issue and not one that had been (by his estimation) an issue for 17 years.
He dismissed all the years when I tried (fruitlessly) to explain that the most powerful aphrodisiac...the cure to my lack of trust, increase our intimacy and render me able to feel a sense of connection with him...would have been the simple act of being KIND TO MY CHILDREN.

This ONE THING might have made a WORLD of difference because HOW can a MOTHER feel any intimacy for the man who HATES her children...who abuses them with pleasure and DELIGHTS in their torment?

How can a person whose preferences are mocked and dismissed and the expression of which drew the accusations of "Abnormal"ever RELAX?

How can an encounter that is meant to be "relaxed and loving" ever feel right when it is a STAGED SHOW requiring a "Contrived Reaction" as the price...or the sulking punishment if it is not rendered...EVER BE SPONTANEOUS?

How does a person who is TAUGHT that there cannot EVER be the most tiny suggestion that an issue MIGHT exist...because the result is nothing short of a COMPLETE BREAKDOWN of communication....EVER hope to resolve the issue?

It is an impossible situation.... and you learn to just shut up...and the issue continues.

The truth, IMHO, is that this "excuse" while NOT ENTIRELY UNTRUE...was just that...an excuse.

What changed that made it tolerable for 17 years but intolerable for ONE DAY LONGER?

The truth is that when I was finally unable to cope anymore and I was totally drained and living every day without hope and without the desire to even LIVE AT ALL...the issue of sex was not truly relevant at all.

The issue was that I had lost my ability to see him as he wanted to be seen.
To praise him as he needed to be praised.
To close my eyes to what I was seeing any longer and heap praises on him.
To worship every thing he did...to give him credit for things that others do daily...for being a normal HUMAN BEING.

In short, I was not able to feed him any longer.

While I still did not FIGHT him...he still ran the house without any input from anyone else...he still did as he wanted...he still conducted his sexual affairs. 

But despite all that....I began to SEE that it was HOPELESS. 
I began to see what he was and that he would NEVER be anything else.

In seeing this, while I was able to remain silent in words... I was unable to hide the fact that I knew I was living with someone who was USING ME and I CEASED to be able to pretend that he was "Mr. Wonderful".

In essence, I CEASED TO SUPPLY HIM!

He was, literally STARVED OUT.

All else was an illusion.