12 signs you are or have been with a Narcissist, aka a Man Child

1. He stops making cute gestures or performing simple acts of kindness. The narc/man-child isn’t able to pick up on your little hints about what would make you happy. Being nice is too much work for him. Let’s say you’ve gone on about your crappy day and you hint that you would like to talk about it. Because he is unable to think or feel outside himself, he will NOT let you talk, but rather will talk about himself, no matter how many hints you’ve dropped. He will, however, be thinking about what you can do for him. 

 

2. He has no empathy. He lacks compassion, and that DOES matter when you date or marry someone. 

 

3. He is a bad conversationalist. When you’re with a narc/man-child he is either thinking, “What can I say next?” and “What's going on my MY life”, so he actively ignores you when you're talking while thinking about what’s going to come out of his mouth next. 

 

4. He never puts giving you a wonderful night at the top of his list He can’t even fathom that maybe your interests or needs are important. It never occurs to him to just do something really nice for you, or take you some place special. The narc/man-child is so wrapped up in his own world that he forgets to consider you. 

 

5. His relationships with others can go very wrong If you can pick up on his negative traits, others can, too. If others don't do things his way, he becomes angry. How dare they stray from his plan, and if they do, he will get weird or angry. If he argues with someone, so forget about helping him by playing devil’s advocate. It’s his way or the highway. The highway is better....remember that. 

 

6. He’s bad at sex. He is self-centered out of bed, so he is also self-centered in bed. The narc/man-child wants nothing more than to get himself off. When he is finished, you’re finished. It’s a sad and very short story. Or, he makes sex all about what a great lover he is.

 

7. He suffers from a dysfunctional family of origin He did not grow up in a family that was loving or emphasized sharing. As he matured he didn’t learn basic interpersonal relations skills. He fell through the cracks as just one of many in a dysfunctional family. He usually reacts poorly when he isn't the center of attention. 

 

8. He has no mutual goals. If he accomplishes something it’s for him, not for the two of you. If he wants something, it's for himself, and you'd better go along with it, or you'll be discarded. 

 

9. He is paranoid. He is under the illusion that someone’s negative opinion of him is completely unfair, even if it actually describes him perfectly will. Trapped in his bubble, he has a twisted way of making everything about what he wants and needs.

10. He always has an excuse. He never accepts responsibility for what he does, 

however wrong, and he always has an excuse for even the worst behavior. 

 

11. He acts like a victim He plays dumb about the wrong things he has done, and is doing. Instead, he says he is being misunderstood...and he's hurt. 

 

12. He pretends he settled for less, when the opposite is true. The narc/man-child will always take the easy way out, and that is never what anyone deserves in a lover or husband. He seriously believes he is settled for you, but the reality is that you settled for him.