WORDS YOU SHOULD KNOW: OBJECTIFICATION

OBJECTIFICATION means to treat a person like an object.  The computer or phone you use is an object.  Your car is an object, as is your faucet.  With an object, you don't have to consider the hopes and dreams, or emotions of an object...an object is USEFUL for some purpose.

You can't lie to an object, or cheat on an object, or hurt an object...if you break it, you get another one.  I pick up my iced tea and drink it, and discard what I don't use.   A narcissist views PEOPLE as objects and treat them like we treat objects in our lives.

I take care of an object in my life, say my car, but that's for my sake, not the car's sake.  I need the car for a purpose, but when I need another, I trade it in for a better model that does the job for me.  Now, obviously, I don't think of my beloved wife this way, but a narcissist does think of their partner, and everyone else, this way.  I don't have a commitment to my car but I do to my wife.  I don't make promises to my car, but I do to my wife and my son.

Likewise, a narcissist places different values on people as objects, based on how useful they are for a purpose, say, sex, money, or supply.  The narcissist may discard you at one time, and find you useful FOR A PURPOSE at another time, hence, the hoovering...for instance, to use as an occasional sex partner and for a temporary source of supply.

Narcissists can treat people as status objects as well, like buying an expensive car.  You may be arm candy.  Or, if you have a special talent, or are respected, so the narcissist wants this to rub off on them.

Another type of object is TOOLS, and people can be tools for a narcissist.  An example of this are flying monkeys who support and defend the narcissist and attack the narcissist's victims.

So, if you are still with a narcissist, or you are considering going back to the narcissist, you should know that you are no more than an object.  You have a certain usefulness to the narcissist, even as an object to abuse, which gives the narcissist enjoyment, or someone to use, and to beat down, to the delight of the narcissist.

And, if  you wonder why you will never get closure with a narcissist....well, you don't feel remorse about discarding a soda can, do you?  You have no more significance than that to a narcissist.  You are truly worthy of real, lasting love, faithfulness, and honesty.  How the narcissist sees you is very, very disturbing, which is why you need to put all narcissists out of your life permanently.