THE NARCISSIST IS NEVER A BEING...THEY ARE ALWAYS A "BECOMING"....you are who you are, with flaws and faults, kindness and love...but a narcissist doesn't have a stable identity. There is no "ME" with a narcissist. I once asked my NarcX why she didn't just be herself, and in a rare moment of honesty, she said..."I don't know who I am". That's the narcissist.
The narcissist is not a being, but rather a "becoming"...they are always in a state of flux, depending on their situation and who they are talking to, and what they want, plus how they plan to use these people and this situation to get supply. A narcissist is a chameleon, and like that lizard, they change with their surroundings.
If they
can get supply by pretending to care, they will. If donating to a
charity gets them recognition, they will do it. The chameleon narcissist
always looks for the right words to say and the right way to act to get
attention and approval...aka, supply...from their audience.
I am reminded of the TV show "The Impostor".....but unlike the show, the narcissist is never "themselves"...there is no self. So, when watching a narcissist, you can watch the ebb and flow of the fakeness in progress. That's why I say they are not a being, they are always a "becoming".
However, at their rotting core, they have an evil, and the aspects of that evil are "them", such as it is. Liars, cheaters, abusers, cruel..the enjoyment of abuse, willing to do anything to get what they want with no moral values, utterly evil...but, what I mean by there being no "them" is that what people see changes all the time..like a shape shifter. The inner rotten core is and always will be the same, but what we all see has no reality to it. Everything....EVERYTHING...is a manipulation. Never forget that. When you speak to a narcissist, you ARE being manipulated. It's how they live.
I am reminded of the TV show "The Impostor".....but unlike the show, the narcissist is never "themselves"...there is no self. So, when watching a narcissist, you can watch the ebb and flow of the fakeness in progress. That's why I say they are not a being, they are always a "becoming".
However, at their rotting core, they have an evil, and the aspects of that evil are "them", such as it is. Liars, cheaters, abusers, cruel..the enjoyment of abuse, willing to do anything to get what they want with no moral values, utterly evil...but, what I mean by there being no "them" is that what people see changes all the time..like a shape shifter. The inner rotten core is and always will be the same, but what we all see has no reality to it. Everything....EVERYTHING...is a manipulation. Never forget that. When you speak to a narcissist, you ARE being manipulated. It's how they live.
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