Friday, October 9, 2015
WORDS YOU SHOULD KNOW: DOSING
Dosing is a form of love bombing that takes place long after the honeymoon phase, and during the abuse phase of the relationship, but before the discard. The narcissist seeks to keep you hooked as long as possible because you still have usefulness to the narcissist, for instance, as a part of the narcissist's harem, to prop up his image outside the home, as arm candy, as a source of money, as an unpaid baby sitter, or simply as a person the narcissist enjoys abusing.
The narcissist doses you by giving you small amounts of the “three A's”...attention, appreciation, and affection in order to keep your hope up that the good times you experienced at the beginning will return for good. It differs from the love bombing phase in that it's motive is different...to prolong your involvement and agony...and because of it's limited nature. Love bombing is WAY over the top and highly excessive, whereas dosing is giving you just enough...the bare minimum possible...to keep you hooked and in the relationship.
How long this goes on depends on whether or not the narcissist is ready for the discard yet. I have known it to go on for over 25 years, or for as little as a few months. The narcissist always has other supply, and when the narcissist becomes tired and bored with you, they are ready for the discard. All that remains is the practical specifics, which the narcissist often sets up, so it seems as though they have found a “new love” immediately, but in fact, they have been involved for a long time.
However, even after that, it is extremely common to “hoover” you....named after the vacuum company, meaning, to try to suck you back into the narcissist's life. This may signify that the new supply is unsatisfactory in some way and doesn't meet the narcissist's expectations, or it may simply mean that the narcissist wants to keep you a part of their harem, or to use you, then abuse and discard you again. Hoovering can go on for years, even after a long lapse of time....say, over 5 or 10 years, passes, then the narcissist suddenly shows up, and uses sentimentality to rehook you emotionally.
This post is meant to show you just how manipulative and abusive the narcissist is. Just remember, whatever the narcissist does and says, it is a calculated manipulation and NEVER SINCERE.
at 12:02 PM