THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN

YOU WERE LIED TO, ABUSED, CHEATED ON, AND DISCARDED.......and, just when you think the long nightmare is over, you realize that the narcissist has been conducting a smear campaign behind your back that becomes a hurricane of abuse that's shocking and horrifying.  This is abuse in the first degree....willful, deliberate, and premeditated, with malice aforethought....sheer evil, with the intent to discredit you in advance for the truth you will tell about the narcissist. 

The smear becomes wide spread with the intent of isolating you and creating fear in you of speaking out....fear that it will get even worse.  You are discredited in advance of anything you say, and flying monkeys are recruited to abuse and bully you by proxy.

And, perhaps worse, the narcissist makes public things that were suppose to be very private to smear, demean, and embarrass you, and may embellish them to make them more embarrassing.

As a part of this smear campaign, the narcissist will often triangulate you with others by claiming you said negative things about them, in order to create enemies for you.  The N may tell your family things, or pose questions to them in order to get them to ask you about them, however false or private, in order to make you feel more embarrassed and pressured.

One of the most ugly aspects of the smear campaign is hate wrapped in the veneer of concern....the narcissist pretends that they are "concerned" about your mental state, or your drinking, and the like, so they seem like a loving, kind person who only wants the best for you.  That fools a lot of people.

Akin to this one is the smear campaign wherein the narcissist plays the victim....with tall tales of all the wrong you did to the N, and how they really had no choice but to leave, and how sad they are, since they really thought you were the one, how they loved you, and were so wronged. 

I learned from my NarcX that narcissists believe you DESERVE this treatment because you began to see the real person behind the mask, and they consider your not believing the illusion anymore to be a betrayal. 

I'll do another post about how to respond to a smear campaign...be sure to catch that one so you understand what it's possible to do out of self defense.