Thursday, September 10, 2015

THE NARCISSIST'S REPTILIAN STARE.....have you experienced it?

It's kinda unnerving, that stare the narcissist gets. It reminds me of the movies of Dracula....that very intense stare meant to unnerve you. It's a look of intense evil....and focused on you like a laser beam.

Done by a man during the love bombing phase, some women initially see this as sexual and seductive, but later, when it's used when the narcissist is angry, it can create fear, and in fact, it's meant to intimidate, and it does the job, since it's coupled with a complete lack of empathy or remorse, and an obvious ugliness. It FEELS like what it're being intensely focused on by a totally amoral person. This reptilian stare makes you very uncomfortable, and that's the intent, and it's often coupled with the silent treatment.

The reptilian stare is an odd, difficult to explain form of abuse, but needless to say, a loving relationship is not based on intimidation like this. You should not feel unsafe, but you do. The fear you feel is have no idea what's going on in the narcissist's mind, but you know he's as cold as ice.

This reptilian look in unsettling because it has a predatory aspect, and it often happens rather suddenly, when you disagree or are not sufficiently worshipful of the N's awesomeness. It's an aspect of narcissistic rage, but instead of outrageous anger, it's like watching a fuse on a bomb. It's intense, hypnotic, and makes your blood run cold.

Perhaps you've experienced this, perhaps not. I find it as unnerving as that contorted look of pure evil you see when the mask completely drops. This is another way that the narcissist may appear without the mask.


  1. Mine had a weird eye 'flick'. Almost like the lazy membrane that comes down over a lizard's eyes when it's relaxing. And a hard blink followed by a sort of refocusing when he was uncomfortable or lying. Strange how specific a marker that is for this personality.

  2. Mine sometimes did that when I smiled at him lovingly. Talk about a slap in the face! Then he denied anything was wrong and gave me the silent treatment. Oh, how I wish I had tried to figure this out years ago. It wasn't until I confronted him about his "missing" Viagra (not used with me) that I Googled "why does my husband glare at me in public" and found Lundy Bancroft's book "Why Does He Do That?" Once I started getting answers about his behavior it didn't take me long to file for divorce.
    And the Viagra? He was using it with men. Anonymous hookups wherever and at the gay spa in town.

  3. I laughed my ass off at my sons dad....when I caught on he was trying to seriously cause me emotional pain by telling me I dont love you im moving my ex wife in to help with bills..I got that stare and then I realized....I pulled all my strength and calmly said ok well hope it works out and all those trust issues were worked out. Dont look for me you have to answer to her now and since she is moving back and yall are combining bills then you are a common law married man....stay far away from me I dont do the other woman wishes and careful to not drag our son into any issues he is a child.THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS PRICELESS THAT LOOK OF OH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH...3 days later he popped up with he was just angry and he is confused and the whole string of narc stuff

    I did not know everything I pinpointed on him had a title of was quite scarry and a relief to find out all his mode of operation his patterns had a title.....
    Ill be dammed if he hoovers me in now that i know.....

  4. He's beginning to sound like a P to me, not an N ...