FOUR QUESTIONS THE NARCISSIST WILL NEVER ANSWER

One reader just asked if narcissists are all liars. You bet they are. But not only will they lie, they will lie by omission...that is, there are many questions you'll ask that he will never answer...not honestly, anyway. But, here are some of those questions and the answers. If you have additional questions, just ask below. If you have questions AND answers, please share below.

1. Question: What's up with the silent treatment?  
   One question the narcissist will never answer honestly is "Why the silent treatment?" The real answer is this: the silent treatment is a form of what therapists call “withholding”. Here's the thing...when you attempt to establish a boundary or make the relationship more equal, or to make sense of your relationship, the narc can power trip you by stonewalling, or just leaving, or diverting the question with statements like “You're just trying to create problems”. A narc isn't interested in a good relationship but rather is all about power and control and you're cramping their style by trying to get them to act like a good partner. Your questions only make them angry. You're only good for what THEY want, when they want it, and no more. A narc's idea of a relationship is that you should do what the narc wants and if you don't, they will punish you.

2. Question: Does he love the new supply more than me? Answer: To begin with, she's not new. And, probably she's not his only one. To him, she's the “piece du jour” and that's it. Besides, the question assumes he loves YOU, which he does not because he only loves himself. Maybe she's eye candy or has some money or something else he wants. Or, she's a young thing who adores him, whereas you've begun to figure him out. She strokes his ego and his....never mind. He looks happy, but this guy is never really happy. Great actor, though.

3. Question: Why does he keep coming back? Answer: From his perspective, why not? Hey, a booty call is a booty call. Besides, if his current supply is flopping, or he wants to make her feel insecure, he'll leave for a while so she does everything possible to get him back. Power play. It also feeds his ego when you take him back....for now...after he crapped on you for the umteenth time. Yep, he's still got it. He's got a harem and he likes to play “rotation” among his women and you're up. Anyway, it shows you are just waiting for him so he will try to come back time after time, even years later.

4. Question: He treated me rotten and then smeared me. How do I get even? Answer: The narcissist just wants to be inside you head all the time, even if it's in a negative way, and when he sees you trying to get even it's great, because he can call you a crazy bitch just like his other exes. What they hate is to be irrelevant to you life and to mean NOTHING to you, so you never even think about them. That's why going “no contact” is so effective....he's irrelevant to your life and you have perfect boundaries. If you have to have minimum contact, “gray rock” him....that is, show NO REACTION to him or anything he says or does, that is, the same reaction as a “gray rock”. Instead of constantly defending yourself, which causes him to attack more, just say to those who ask, “that's not true”, and get on with your life. As they say, being happy is the best revenge. That way you don't look like the crazy and hostile one, he does.