Living Life As A Reflection- A Poem

Re-post from a reader....

Living as a Reflection...

I lived many years as a reflection

One who was not really alive and stung by rejection

No action taken quite good enough

These chains on my mind trying to slough

As piece by piece my soul was dismantled

All that was once me, endlessly channeled

Down a bottomless hole which will never be filled

On rock hard ground that will never be tilled

I became nothing but an empty shell

What once was me now trapped in Hell

My daily thought was keeping you sated

An impossible task which you had slated

Nothing exists save your perception

As I engaged in self-deception

I could not cope with the truth you see

You never really honored me

The vows you took were only lies

The man I saw was a disguise

The name I took was only that

Your mask to change like a hat

So when you discarded us and walked away

It was in confusion I met that day

Part of me with injuries deep

My vow intact, but on your heap.

I tried with great persistence to

Keep the vow I made to you

Despite the pain I felt inside

Despite this awful, dizzying ride

Another part glimpsed the light

and, Oh, my soul it took to flight!

Could I escape this endless plight

Leave this dark, perpetual night?

The decision removed from my grasp

No longer mine, not in my clasp

The guilt I feared in seeking peace

No longer tore my heart with grief!

A final gift you gave to me

Though meant as less than that you see

You sought to cause me pain in ending

This time of lies and pretending.

I will admit that I felt pain

Seeing everything you sought to gain

and day by day it became more clear

As my name you sought to smear

I lived so long in the mirror here

ignoring every lie and sneer

Trying to see the best in you

Which sadly wasn't ever true

So, though I was confused of course

and met the ending with remorse

I did not mourn your "love" you see

For that was never given to me

Instead I mourned the man in my mind

the one I sought so hard to find

The man who never really knew

the meaning of the vow I made to you

Who never saw worth in what he had

Who felt that what he left was bad

Who sees no worth in his life today

Hide that dark, empty soul and run away!

We will learn to live anew,

without the mirror we all knew

Look back at what you left without a care

You black, blank mirror standing there!