OMG....WILL THE PAIN EVER END? FOUR SIMPLE STEPS TOWARD HEALING

Yes, it will, but the better question is “What can I do to get over the narcissistic abuse?” There are somethings that will help you, and others that will make matters worse. What I am going to tell you comes from hard personal experience and is what I have noticed in myself and others I am close to.

1. Know what the narcissist is, and admit it to yourself. NEVER be in denial about that. Know it, say it, live it. The narcissist is viscous and evil, but also a master of deception. Know what's behind that mask.

2.  Take charge of the direction of your own life NOW. This isn't a matter of blaming yourself for the past, just understanding the mistakes you made while trying to make sense of an insane situation. This is critically important as you shift your focus from the abuse of the narcissist and “what he did”, to putting yourself on the right track again.

3. Give it time. Everyone is different and there is no time by which you “should” be better. Accept that you are where you are and that you will not always be in this place emotionally. One day, despite your natural caution, you will meet someone. No, you won't be perfect. You'll fumble around and make mistakes, but you won't make THIS mistake again because you will have learned a LOT by then.

4. Go NO CONTACT with the narcissist....that means no calls, no Facebook, no emails, no texts, to “friendly chats”. Block the narcissist on everything. Remember, contact “resets the clock” of recovery. Narcissists frequently try to “hoover” previous victims, even years later...in one case, even 13 years later. Don't engage. If you can't have total NO CONTACT because you have children together, have the most minimal contact possible. Make all communications via email and only respond to issues involving the children's health, school, or visitation. Everything depends on strictly following “no contact” because the narcissist is a master manipulator....so, don't try to beat the narcissist at his game.

How long before you are totally over the narcissist? You will never be totally over a narcissist, but you will be happy again, love again, and the narcissist will become irrelevant to you life. Hang in there.