Narcissists are often
great story tellers, especially their own story, but they are also
great editors as well. They can spin a story of great heartache,
pain, and rejection by the “love of their life”, often more than
once....SO, they get you to care take them and take it on yourself
to make sure this “wonderful man” isn't hurt again. Except, it's
not true at all.
If he cheated on his ex
wife or GF, he will tell a story of sexual rejection and an empty
marriage devoid of love, in which he was languishing in deep pain.
Reality...he met a young thing at work and had a fling, or found new
supply somewhere, but she's onto him now.
However, the story might
be that his ex cheated, or was frigid, or cold and distant. He's
just a guy looking for life long love. Actually, he's looking for
supply and to add you to his harem.
My NarcX wife told
everyone that she HAD to divorce me. Had no choice. She's a
martyred single mother just trying to get by, with an abusive and
dangerous ex who wants to kill her if he can, and who's a horrible
father. Reality...she was in the middle of an affair with a married
man, took no interest in her kids, is an alcoholic, who was rarely at
home except to sleep, and was incredibly verbally abusive.
You get the drill...they
have a great story of how they were burned...MAKING THEM VICTIMS
rather than victimizers, which they are. Told with great sincerity
and emotion, these stories are convincing, which is how we get
hooked. Often, only much later, when things have been going awry for
some time, do we begin to doubt their truth.
Narcs are so good at
spinning stories that we never know when they are being truthful,
since all stories are told with apparent sincerity and often, with
strong emotion. They are the heroes of their own fairy tales. What
the N means when he says, “I've been burned” is that they set the
house on fire with them in it and now complain that it's hot in here.
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