Red flags....they are used
as in real life as warnings of something very serious that we need to
avoid....on beaches, for instance, tells us to avoid getting in the
water.. The red flags of narcissism warn us not to get in over our
heads and drown in abuse.
Narc speak is a huge red
flag that says, “Brainwashing ahead.” The object is to confuse,
control, and manipulate us, but when looked at closely, narcissists
make the weirdest statements that leave us saying, “WHAAAAT?”
He's some more examples:
HE SAYS: I'm taking care
of myself, ya know?
HE MEANS: It's all about
me, and I'm sure not going to take care of YOU. And, BTW, your job
is to take care of me too, and if you don't, I'll find another
victim.
HE SAYS: You ALWAYS make
everything about YOU.
HE MEANS: Hey, babe, wise
up....it's ALWAYS about me, and don't you forget it.
HE SAYS: Are you wearing
THAT to bed?
HE MEANS: You need to
look like the women in my porn, or a hooker or a stripper. If you
look like a normal woman....well, THAT sure doesn't turn me on.
HE SAYS: What do you
think are my best qualities?
HE MEANS: Hey, feed my
ego....gimme some supply....I can't stand it if someone isn't adoring
me.
HE SAYS: You're a selfish
bitch....think of the children!
HE MEANS: Ha! The whole
point of having children is to TRAP you so you tolerate
anything....besides, children let me give you the perfect guilt trip!
HE SAYS: If I didn't tell
you what to do, you'd be clueless.
HE MEANS: I've got you so
walking on egg shells that you have to get my permission to do
anything, which is cool because it means I have total control over
you.
HE SAYS: Get a frickin'
life!
HE MEANS: Your life
doesn't include questioning anything I say or do. Besides, the life
you need to get is to be focused entirely on ME and what I want.
HE SAYS: Honey, it was
such a mistake to leave. You know you're the only woman for me, and
I mean FOREVER.
HE MEANS: The thing I had
with the new supply isn't working like I thought....you know, the one
I cheated with. So, I'm going to hoover you to use you in the mean
time while I look for somebody else.
HE SAYS: Honey, since we
broke up, I miss you. Could we just talk?
HE MEANS: I gotta keep
this harem thing goin', so how about a booty call?
HE SAYS: If I can't have
you, no one can.
HE MEANS: You're not
going to EVER escape my control...NEVER. Not that I really love you
or anything, because I only love ME. You're really a POSSESSION, not
a person. Here's how it works: I can discard YOU, but you can't
ever discard me.
HE SAYS: You're NOTHING.
I can find another one like you any day...you're a dime a dozen.
HE MEANS: Women are all
interchangeable to me and if you lose your usefulness to me, you'll
get discarded. Besides, I've got several more women on the line
right now, so losing you means nothing because YOU mean nothing to
me. One piece is like another...you're nothing special.
HE SAYS: Let's face
it...you're not loving and affectionate anymore.
HE MEANS: You're
beginning to see me as I really am, so stop it! Bow down and worship
my perfection and do whatever I command because obedience and
submission are love to me.
HE SAYS: You already know
the answer to that.
HE MEANS: I won't be
trapped into admitting the truth, so it will be a cold day in hell
before I answer that question.
My ex actually said five of the "He says" verbatim while I was married to him....WOW....
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